Sunday, 5 November 2017

Learn to Love Life....

We all have our blips in life and that is all OK.

We should not feel guilty about being, tired, down and sad...We are human and it is part of our DNA.  What is important is HOW you turn things around and change what you are going through.

I know I can distance myself, keep quiet and try and ride out the emotions that I am going through alone.

I think this is where I feel and focus more on...The fact that I have been single for eternity and never been claimed as being someone's significant other or have anyone tell me anything of the such how they truly feel about me. I know that is what gets me down the most that I have not yet been able to reach that next stage in life.  It seems like everyone else around me has moved on and I'm stuck.  The fact that I never have had someone's all makes me think I will never have that.  I am not going to lie it does become hard to express how I feel without thinking I'm sounding like a drip at times lol. But I guess everything happens for a reason. 

I work in Mayfair, I have Oxford Street at my feet everyday, yet not even the materialistic things can now make me happy, it's not even about having someone give me a ring anymore.  It's much more and simple than that.....Just having someone being by my side where ever I end up...Be it here or halfway across the planet and being there growing my faith and life with them, as a Muslim completing half of my Deen (faith) is something compulsary......Just that simple thing and I'd feel whole.  One thing that I know that does make me happy is to keep on laughing, being silly, be the best I can be now to myself and all around me and just living the blessed life I do have and just looking up to the one above with thankfulness for everyday I have. 

But I guess this blog helps me go through this phase and see what goodness I DO have around me.
I have been so so blessed to reach where I am now.  I dropped out of university, never really got much of an education, but somehow....I have been able to travel to far lands, see amazing things, work in some amazing organisations around some cool places in London and more importantly meet some amazing people along the way who I now carry within my life :)

This takes me to my latest venture, magical Marrakech....Travel has always been something that seems to calm me and just takes everything that worries me out of my mind.  However I never expected the effect Magical Marrakech would have on me.

I guess it starts before I left the UK for some reason I was feeling more so emotional and I had no idea as to why. As I was at Kings Cross standing at my usual spot on the Victoria line with my back pack and suitcase, the Victoria line came and the doors flew open, and there I saw standing before me a dear friend from the past.  As soon as I saw her I did feel emotional as unfortunately she had lost her mother a few months back, but the fact that I had not seen her in years and our instant reaction was hugging and crying.....It made me think sometimes the one above really puts certain people in your path at certain points in your life when you really need them.

Marrakech is just three hours away which is nothing really when you think about it!  I have always stayed in hotels, however this was a hostel/hotel which had the best of both.  This was a Riad complex which has a beautiful quarter in the centre with a fountain and pool.  This was based in the Old Median part of Marrakech and it was certainly an eye opener on the evening of arrival.  One thing I heard was that in Marrakech you are ment to be modest and humble with where you live, hence why something on the outside can look like a hot mess....But when you enter a home/Riad you see the hidden inner beauty of the place....The Rodamon definitely showed this....A peacful place from the outside chaos of the old medina.

The evening of arriving and walking through the old Medina at night where the donkey carts & motorbikes whizzing past you literally 3 inches from you in all directions and people walking and the gazillion of stray cute cats catching my eye it certainly was an eye opener.  What was more surprising no one had any collisions the whole time being there.  The narrow streets of the Old Medina felt so familure yet something new that my eyes had set upon for the first time.

Everyone knew everyone, and one thing that stood out everyone in the old medina works hard by trade.  The old man in the shoe repair hut next to the tailor who was opposite the barbers.....It had such a community and homely feel.  And anothing thing that took me by surprise (I don't know why, but how international Marrakech is). Like Dubai the ratio of expacts to locals stood out also.  However the locals seemed to of adapted to this and had not been phased by the influx.

Marrakech is SO safe and easy to get around, not once getting lost in the souks! But by being friendly and smiling to the locals does help on your daily journey.

One of the most chaotic part by far is the Jamaa El Fnaa....Now I'm a city chick, I know my way around and spent a lot of time down the east ends of London, know the ghetto streets of Mauritius like the back of mi hand and born in Cheetham hill fam....However I don't think any of that could have prepped me of what to expect in the Square....If I am honest it is the one place I would not go back in a rush for....But it is something you should experience. The fact that the locals had the worse east end cockney accents ever and stuff like saying "All wiite Fish N Chips" "Wagwaan Fam" "Hello Cat slater" left US even more confused and wtf is going on here kinda vibe...That said my friend and I walked along the square and looked for a roof toop resturant to hide out in.  I looked up and saw a resturant called "Zaitoon" and straight away took it as a sign of somesort while in the chaotic square (My grandmother wanted to calle me Zaitoon which means Olive in arabic lol).

We headed up and sat by the side and felt much more at ease and relaxed hearing the buzz from down below.  It was there that we sat next to an amazing couple from Essex who had been travelling around Morocco for over a month.  They where so humble and open to talk to.  They had been married for 30 years and had three sons, they where 50 & 60 and what we least expected they converted to Islam 2 years ago & even re-married the Islamic way (Nikkah at regents park Mosque) Being muslim I did feel touched by this however more so we had a spiritual connection.  I am practising, however it was beautiful to see a couple go through this together.  We ended up speaking with them for over three hours and we did keep in touch.  It was an eye opener in the sense that I admired that they loved to travel and be together as their sons had grown and now had their own kids. No matter what age you are when you travel you are also seeking further into your own knowledge and always learning more about yourself. Its is so easy for us to get caught up in the daily grind, but we forget we can have an adventure and there really is a big world out there to discover.

I have to admit I have always stayed in hotels where ever I have been, and this was the first time I had stayed in a hostel. What I really loved about it was that how everyone is more interactive and friendly.  We met some amazing people from Germany, Italy, LA, Brazil.  The magic of social media has also enabled us to keep in touch too :)

On my flight back I was sat next to a gentleman from Kuwait.  I never expected to have such an in depth conversation about life in general and it was so refreshing. He informed me he was part of a globalisation project and how we can make the world a better place by all coming together.  This is where he mentioned that he feels people forget what is really important in life....We all work and have a routine but this is where he mentioned he applies the three 'L's in his life...."Learning to Love Life".  When I heard this I felt like a light bulb ping in my head and felt really inspired by this.  I know this year my work has taken over a lot of my time and taken me away from the things that I love mainly travel....By taking the three "L"s im hoping to apply this more and hope others can think and take something away from this.

Marrakech has made a big impression on my heart and I cannot wait to go back Insha"Allah (God willing). When you visit a new place, your either going to connect with it or not...But for some reason I felt so at home, at ease....At peace there.  When I came back I was so upset and yes I did cry...I felt so touched by the warmth of everyone we met and felt humble that we had an amazing time and just so so blessed  ..I have only ever felt that each time I come back from the motherland that is Mauritius so to me that says a lot...It made me think how everything fit into place from the get go.  Every encounter was meant to be and that there are some amazing kind warm people in this world....A little kindess
indeed goes a long way no matter the distance....❤

Saturday, 22 July 2017

Feeling stuck....

How have we now only got about 4 more months until the end of the year?? Madness!

More people getting married, those who are with baby number one are now onto baby number two, and all I have is my job and a street cat that lovingly follows me around...I guess the latter is a little something of nothing...But at least I am getting a bit of unconditional affection somewhere right?

It has been emotional...It seems the hardest thing to accept is making future plans....Alone....I never thought at this age that it would be like this for me and it has been proving a difficult aspect to ignore as this is reality.

Those who know me, know that I am always there for them all giving my wise words, advise, care and love that I best know how to give and show. Yet when it comes to me, I do hide when I am feeling down and insecure and when I do open up the slightest, I come face with silence and always have to deal with things alone or how I best know how to.

I have been so down the past week and it seems I can only be my own source of comfort, I am being totally honest.  I have never had someone I can lean on and just be comforted and I have to probably accept that it will always be like this.  When this happens I always start to think what do I lack that others have, why is it so hard that to find someone.  As people see me as a strong independent person, I actually feel unwanted and unlovable. I have never had someone truly be there for me or comfort me...It's hard....I have never been someone demanding and I hate it when someone asks me 'Why am I still single'' - 'What's going on with you lately' - 'Ahh it will happen'...Well...mid 30's later...ITS NOT. The more time goes on, the more it has dented my confidence that is one thing for sure I have learnt.

Social media has had a massive impact on daily lives, everything can now be seen 'live' on all platforms.  The same old devil can creep into your head that you are indeed being ignored if you simply send a message to someone and see that they have been online else where.  That can always plant a seed of doubt into anyone's head and of course lead to misunderstandings.  Communication is such a big important key thing for me.  I always think life is too short and therefore always reaching out...But then again I know that can make things a one way thing and therefore I guess it's my own fault for having expectations for thinking others will reach out to me how I do.

I think feeling like this has not helped the fact I have been sucked into the whole 'Love Island' escapade. (YES I KNOW TRASH TV)  To think that they have no work or responsibilities to worry about and only have to ensure they look good, interact and go on dates really does not help.  Being sucked into the world where they have all the time in the world to spend all their time with someone and watching this is really, really unhealthy.  It is like a surreal world that makes you think of yours and how shit is it that you don't have someone special in your life making a massive fuss over you.

I know only I can make myself happy again and I hope to get back on track with my own help.  I have learnt the hard way over the years you cannot rely on anyone but yourself.  In a way writing this is helping me move forward and working on my plan of action.  Its been hard and I hope to get creative again as that also seems to have disappeared. Netflix still seems to be my companion at the moment, always there 24/7...So I guess that's another good thing eh?

We all feel lonely at times and I guess we should not feel guilty or bad about that.  We all have good and bad days, but I think it is important to let your emotions out.. And yes I have evenings when I just have a good cry let it all out and then the next day dress to the nines and complement myself and do it for me.....The worse thing is bottling them up and acting like everything is ok when it is not.  So I guess this is me letting everything out right now as I don't have anyone to talk to....But thank you for reading and understanding who ever and where ever you are....Hopefully the next post will be me back on track.....

Before I blog off....About 10 years ago in the Vatican City I became friends with an amazing person who I still consider a dear friend.  Sara lives in New York now but has recently started up an amazing blog post spot which I was asked to write for.  It was an honour to do so, and I guess if you want to know a little more about me, then feel free to click the link below....

But in case no one has told you....YOUR DOING GREAT AND KEEP GOING XXX

Thank you for reading and hoping to the one above I snap out of .....THIS *waves arms around like a crazy cat lady*

Tuesday, 23 May 2017

2017....A new Chapter....(ish)

The love of my life, my one true first love, yes we do have a love / hate relationship over the many years but every relationship has it's ups and downs right?  You just need a little space from each other from time to time to appreciate one another again and then your both back on track again....London.

So it is now 2017, how long have I had this blog now? Even I don't know!  But here I am, new year, new hair do (I chopped all my hair off...and a few people out of my life)....And a new job!

I am now based in Soho, and I have to say by each day I am falling more and more in love with it.
It is quite dangerous being based by Oxford Circus, but what is even more better and probably the best bit I am surrounded by my close friends who I can pop out and grab a casual coffee with instead of having to arrange a dinner date weeks in advance.

It is quite exciting being based so central, everything is walking distance, however over Christmas it had been a nightmare to cope with!

I have absolutely no travel plans this year, 2017 really is a blank canvas for me and I really like that fact.  Last year I squashed so many things and plans I think this is the year I literally am taking things day by day.

One thing that will never change is of coarse the photography side of things, I need to get more into that side of things and keep up with this blog!

An amazing thing about Soho is...FOOD! Lord-a-mercy! Where do I start and when will my list of places end? I feel like I have started the year with my purse getting skinny and my lil belly getting not so lil anymore! But I'm also in that #YOLO frame of mind and think to myself 'If not now, when?'.

One place that I have been going to quite often (at least once a week #guilty !) is The Kati Roll Company.  This place makes roti's like yo mama I'm telling you! You can either get a single or double (Which is two singles). I love the interior with all the classic old bollywood style posters, but even better they churn out some proper old school classic bollywood tunes!

One of my amazing fabulous friends Jen has mentioned (quite a few times) about Yorica, which makes THE BEST VEGAN TREATS in London town HANDS DOWN! From Diary free milk shakes, ice creams and fro-yos added with waffles or selection of delightful toppings such as chocolate brownies to vegan jelly sweets and of coarse fresh fruit!  Now I'm the sort of person who would eat an ice cream even if it was -10c outside. I had fro-yo mix of vanilla & chocolate added with strawberries and mango's.  Yes even in cold January it brought back a summery mix!


Being around Soho, I am wondering around the many side streets and being able to discover short cuts and other wonderful gems along the way.  That is one thing I do not take advantage of about London, each borough in London seems to hold its own little treasures. From food, to graffiti art to people who work and reside in them.

Currently on Broadwick street there is an amazing pop up store which has funded an amazing cause. Just on their very window I love what their mission statement stands for:

This gem of a find has amazing clothes, accessories and all types of new and old things, I did make a purchase of an amazing tote bag


Continued 23rd May 2017 (Disgusting I know!.....I wrote all the above in January 2017 and ONLY now picked up my lap top!  Work has been pretty busy and keeping me away from blogging...And lazyness.....Yes my hair is still short but now want it longer and yes I'm still single! Ha....(Some things never change!)

Also moving away from the hipster kooky cramped streets of Soho and now moving off to Mayfair next week.....So all in all still in busy London and to be honest would not change it......(For now that is).

I have been to a few places around town and I would say the best way to keep up with me would be on my instagram account,

I will try and blog more of the places I have been around town since I have become a bit more boring and well tierd of the whole dating game lol.

Mind you....Although I have not been active most of the year it always makes me smile seeing the page views and locations of where you all are and just seeing that today has given me drive to write and say more.....I guess one thing about being single.....We all miss having that someone to check if you are ok, have someone to listen to you, have someone you can share the silly little things you see daily and they just get it...Having someone to say good night to........I guess this blog has always been a way I could share things.....And well you guess....Have always been there to read and take a moment to see what I have to say.....And just wanted to say Thank you to you all.....(9000 hits!) That means so much and I have to promise to write more for you

Sunday, 16 October 2016

Mambo Italiano....Milano!

A girl went back to ITALY
Because she missed the scenery
The native dances and the charming songs
But wait a minute, something's wrong
Hey, mambo! Mambo Italiano!
Hey, mambo! Mambo Italiano

I cannot believe that we are already at the end of October...Where has this year gone?? Looking back I can only but smile at the year that has past....The experiences, the countries I have been to and more so the people I have met...From the past, from the daily familiar, family, friends from years gone by and also the new ones I have made this year.

When you have an open heart to everything around you, you see things so much more clearer....You see the things that have no meaning to you as those things shall not benefit you in a positive manner.  You become more patient and more at ease with yourself, you find that you know your self better and are at peace with that.  You also start to notice when others have a lot less patience than you, people who become irritated by the smallest things and kick up about it. In a way that highlights negative energy, use that as a  reminder for you to be grateful that you have patience and peace within you.  Just because something did not go your way, yes you can have a moan to someone about it, but try and do it once, forget about it and move on. Rather than wasting your energy wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself and looking back, channel that energy into something else, something that will give you heart and soul a glow of joy. I think you all know I love nothing more than travelling by you know where I'm at with that!
 It seems these days people also have less of a tolerance for things with higher expectations. I think my latest trip highlighted this more to me.  Yes another destination :p....Allhamdulilah things have a knack of happening for me when I think of something or have an idea....I like to think things only happen for me because I always remember the people who wish me well through their kind words and prayers.  I have a manner of always remembering people and think back to what they had said to me when something good happens.  I call or message them, I think it is always important to always give thanks....I do not think things happen because of 'Luck' I like to think more of someones blessing being answered. A dear friend had said to me that ''No prayer is left unanswered...Be it a yes or a no, you are always given your answer''.

The beauty of having friends and family dotted all over the globe means you can be somewhere unfamiliar, yet with familiar company...A new sense of adventure but with comfort because you have a connection there already.

I have a dear cousin there already who was the most amazing host and just as bonkers as I am....We have the same sense of humour and I think for her also it was nice as we both found comfort in each other.  I had days of laughter and it was so good just to have a change of scenery and escape the familiar.

A heart shaped pizza at Ristorante Pizzeria Rosy e Gabriele :)

Having a Cousin in Milan meant I had my own personal tour guide, I love the idea of being in love with Italy and I have to say I am and always have been.  I had been to Rome a while back and since the my passion for Italy has always been alight.

I had known people who had already been to Milan and said that it was a city with ''Not much going on'' or nothing much to do.  If anything I think there is so much to see and do...I love people watching, I'm easily fascinated by people watching.  Its so easy to grab a little corner in a cafe watching the world go by with a gellato in tow (which I had at least twice a day).

That Rose and Pistachio from Chateau Dufan got me like ......
I said to my cousin ''Wow all the women here are tall and skinny'' Her reply was ''No not really they are all models that you are seeing''.

Milan is a buzzing city and I had the opportunity to go during Milan Fashion week, there was a buzz in the air, paparazzi all over the place.  The streets became an open air catwalk as hoards of photographers waited for the stylish and famous to strut by to the fashion shows.

One of my best friends was also in Milan for Fashion week and we had arranged to catch up while we where both out there.  That was also so lovely to have someone from home out there and who also knew the city well! Going back to that familiar comfort while being in a new place that I have never been to. It was a nice different to be able to be with my friend while he was busy working, it was an insight into what goes on behind the scenes of fashion week.  As I had been back stage after the fashion show, just being there and soaking up the atmosphere was an eye opener, I am not going to lie, it really did remind me of Zoolander, but in a good way :) Milan Fashion week is definitely different from London Fashion week.  You have to look more the part and make a statement, in London you can rock up as you want. In Milan I would say you have to think twice.

My invite to the Dsquared2 fashion show (hidden my name with those heels and lippy emojis! ;p)

A video posted by Chat noiršŸ±dans Londres..... (@chat_noir_londres) on

Milan is full of life and a vibrant city that has a mellow Melody that carries you along with it as you wonder though the city streets. I very much saw that on a Saturday night in Corso Como...Walking there we went through the business district of Milan which is called 'Porta Nuova' which means 'New gate' and it reminded me a lot of Dubai when you walk through the Marina, it definitely had that kind of vibe to it.  There is a building in the heart of the city which we nick named ''The Burj Khalifa'' as you can see the tall spire where ever you are in the city. But I loved the buzz the place had in the evening, full of people all dressed up and by all means looking chic though the Piazza Gae Aulenti an area which has fountains, chic shops and restaurants....Not quite the dancing fountains in Dubai...But gave me that strong familiar reminder of it :)
The UniCerdit Tower (my cousin and I nicknamed it The Burj) in the heart of Piazza Gae Aulenti.
Corso Como had an electric feel in the air on a Saturday night, when I first walked through, the layout and buzz reminded me so much of Lincoln Road in Miami. It brought back that feeling of familiarity that I had been here before, the similarities of shops, bars and restaurants and music pumping through the warm air.....And also the fact everyone pretty much wore chic black! Another thing that reminded me of Miami nights out...Again I sat and watched the hoards of merry people walking by, casually having Italian conversations, hand gestures with laughter....It was then that I realised how much I loved Milan.
Corsa Como buzzing!
I'm just going to post more photos I took that really do not need any explanation!!!
Got to pick up a fridge magnet everywhere I go!

I spent most of the time looking up while walking through the streets of Milan. Such beautiful buildings 

The biggest green doors I have ever seen in my life!! At the beautiful Milan Cathedral

The beautiful Milan Cathedral

Inside the beautiful Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II
With Milan being a mix of old and new traditions, I wondered through China Town which is by all means bigger than the China Town we have in London.  It was interesting for me to be there as the Chinese community have a historical presence there.  The Chinese community started there from about 1920 and operated textile and leather workshops.  Being of Mauritian descendant, we have a real mix of Chinese, African, Indian and French cultures.  We also have a large China Town and I felt so connected and comfortable being there, I really felt free and at totally at ease.
Can find some real colourful things in Milan China Town!

I think the more you venture out and discover new places, things and people, your mind and thought process changes.  You start to realise just how big and beautiful the world is and you can start to feel at peace from within...Milan just confirmed my love for Italy and it is somewhere I am definitely going to head back to.....

I'm not going to lie when I took the photo below I did have tears flowing down my cheeks because I was overwhelmed by the beauty of nature and the work of the one above...It hit home how blessed and lucky I am to be able to go places solo and just do my thing....What started as a blog about my disastrous dating life has now become a blog about my journeys and discoveries......Thank you for being with me on this amazing journey :)  

Amazing views of the Italain Alps.

Friday, 23 September 2016

Timing is everything.

As you know from my previous posts I am a big believer in signs and follow my faith with my whole heart.  I think when you have an open heart and mind regardless of your personal faith and beliefs you really can see deeper into what looks ordinary to the normal eye, however this will only have a deeper meaning and connection to you only.  This is something personal to me, but I'm going to keep writing from the heart as I always do...

In December two days before Christmas I had this urge, this really strong pull and feeling inside me to go and see my Gran.  I had already just been six months previously, but I clearly said to my mum "If I don't go in March I'm going to regret it. (I have no idea to this day why I said March specifically, it was just drilled inside my head and heart and I was fixated on that Month).  Within 2 days of thinking of this, by Christmas eve I had my holiday approved and booked my ticket.  Being the Easter break I practically got the whole of March off and I even decided to book a stopover in Dubai to catch up with friends for a few days.

That being said and done my plans for 2016 where starting already.  I was so looking forward to seeing my Gran as she has turned 90 in February so it made it more of a reason to see her.  No one comes before my Gran in my eyes, my precious pearl.  When I arrived it was as it always was, I stayed with her and did her shopping for her, do her breakfast, comb her soft silver hair for her and platted it as I always did.

The second day I was there family had already nabbed me for dinner plans as while I am there I try and catch up with as many family members.  While I was with my Gran I made her choose what I should wear and out of two skirts a blue and a vibrant red one, she chose the latter.  As I was getting ready we chit chatted, she watched how I did my make-up....When I was ready I pranced around her room as I always loved just being myself with her.  She looked at me and said I looked lovely...But this time for some reason her smile and eyes told me something else....Inside I felt and realised this but did not say anything....She won't see me dressed as a bride...I don't know where that thought came from...But it did and I felt a lump in my throat.

I went up to her and took her hand and she told me one her many beautiful things....She said how she had a dream the night before I arrived. She said how we were both standing under a large blossomed mango tree, just me and her.  And in this tree where two ripe mango's.  She picked one and gave one to me...I took a bite and I had told her how I had never tasted such a sweet mango in my life... As she told me this, I felt tears form in my eyes and a lump in my throat....I was speechless and yet I knew this was a moment that had a much more deeper meaning, but could not quite know what exactly....

After taking my Grandmother to hospital, I climbed the house ladder to the roof feeling a bit empty with her not being there....I took this photo.  It was not after she had passed I noticed the two mango's at the bottom...(My nan would have never seen this....Maybe she already did in her dream).

I held her hand and squeezed it and she smiled at me, shortly she fell ill after this and I was by her side....Unfortunately my dear Grandmother passed away.....In the Muslim faith we bury our loved ones as soon as possible....And with this close members of the family perform their last rites....Which I never had done, or ever thought I would do....And I did....With nothing but pure love.....It was an honour and something that shall forever stay with me....I know this is quite a personal thing,  I think it was harder because I did not have my parents or sibling with me as they were in the UK I had to be strong, but this made me stronger, it made me grow up, it made me stand up alone, I have never had someone by my side except for myself, and in a way, going through that made me realise it made me stronger...In a way tested my limits...Which I know now are limitless, the fear of something limits you, going through the fear, frees you...

Moments are gifts that you accept and cherish...I had this whole beach and Sunset to myself <3

While I was there I had met so many different types of people from all walks of life ages, religions and back rounds, be it the ladies who sit outside the Mosque for spare change, other patients in the hospital, the bus conductors, traders in the market....Everyone had a kind warming charm about them, which is something that I took back with me.

The whole experience has had a massive impact how I see things, I have taken a step back, I look closer at the smaller daily things that go around us, and when you think about it, there is beauty everywhere in every little thing.  When I commute to work, I see how everyone is on their lap tops, phones and tablets.  I have a tendency to try and capture clouds, sun rises & sunsets on my phone and sometimes I catch in the corner of my eye people wondering what I am trying to capture and then they notice I'm actually looking out of the window at the great big sky!

This has been since March, and yes it is still hard...When you lose someone so close to your heart...It does change you....My nan was everything to me...But I learnt so much more about her humble self after she passed, and it was like receiving more gifts from her when I met people I had never met before and how she spoke of me to them....Hearing so many more things like that, just put more warmth into my heart and made me realise how lucky I really am.

I took so much more back this time around without expecting it, and for me...That is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me......❤ 

Thursday, 23 June 2016

6 months later into 2016 I'm posting!! lol (sorry!)

Well hello there....It has been a while indeed I know, I know....But I guess I have been busy living life and all that! ;p But I have taken things offline in general, socially, dating etc and in a way its been refreshing and eye opening.  I have put myself first and been doing what I want, when I want, mapping things out and  keeping my soul happy :)

So I guess I should summarise what I have been up to so far......

January was spent pottering around plotting and planning how I was going to make the most of this year.

February was quite busy work wise. I went away to one of my favourite places, Amsterdam (and before you all think, not for the obvious reason!).  However I love their hot chocolates and patisserie places which are full of my favourite thing of all time giant Nutella jars!! I managed to catch up with my culture vulture cousin and we explored Amsterdam in the cold winter weather which is still a beautiful city regardless the weather to be honest.  I love its laid back ness, openness and generally everything about it!  It is somewhere I could easily go a live.

Travelling has always been a soother for me, it is when I am at my happiest and mellowest, it never stresses me out and never makes me feel uneasy.  If anything it gives me the wanderlust that I seek as I have always been a curious cat in life in general.  Seeking places, things to do, history and knowledge seeking about where I am going to or have already been to.  I know being single you feel like something is missing, however when I travel it fulfils that part where there is emptiness, it brings joy, peace and tranquillity.

One of the many beautiful canals in Amsterdam

The good thing about living on a Island like ours, we are half hour, an hour, two hours and so on away from other locations that are so different from our little Island!  One of my 'Putting myself first' things to do, is to travel more, be it alone or not.  In fact I love travelling alone, I get to take in my surroundings and bearings and make my own decisions on what adventure I want to take myself on.

For me its letting go of the everyday work/home life routine, the worrying about dating 'Will this guy message me? Call?' Does he like me? What is this? Confusing oneself with no need Pppfhhhh!....I craved freedom, letting go, everything has already been written in the stars and what shall be for you is only for you. (Sorry I am going back to dating here) But every step you take, every mistake, every disappointment, every wrong guy met, every effort made and lost, every miss match met.....that is a step forward taking you to where you need to and should be at this present time.  Which is why I let go, stopped making an effort in searching, and focused more on me and my own happiness and well being, so I started with Amsterdam which happened to be my second visit. :)

Outside the Rijksmuseum museum

Amsterdam has cool mellow vibes when wondering around the streets in the crisp cold winter February air.  I love winter, I always have and shall always do so. I stayed at my cousins cute mini apartment, everyone makes the most of every nook and cranny space wise. While walking through the streets at night (no on seems to draw their curtains....or have any!) you can see the clever ways people have made use of space, making it more so cosy than cramp in their quaint homes. 

A pretty window in Spuistraat

Spuistraat is a lovely area with retro styled buildings and amazing, graffiti which has always been a  personal passion of mine. I guess I am like a train spotter, but a graffiti spotter and slowly recognising international artists who I have spotted in London and also recognised their work in Amsterdam!  It's amazing what hidden along the side of a building, in a doorway, uplifting messages or just images that speak volumes that you can find on the streets, a bit like life in general when you have an open heart and mind :) 
Bikes and Blues

Be like a Flamingo...PINK!

Bob Marley by one of my favourite artists C215 also on Instagram as Christianguemy go check his work out!

Look close enough and you shall find the missing pieces to your puzzle.

One Saturday my cousin and I had managed to walk 11 miles within the city, which just goes to show there are so many things to see and explore.  I love how you can wonder from one bridge to a street to another bridge and so on.  The mixture of the late night smells from the amazing bakeries, to the busy bustling bars, cafes, the beautiful uneven architecture of the buildings along the canals and the random red window lights that you walk past.  The everyday life that is somehow is entwined and connected with the city's mellow vibe.  However I feel that there is always a light hearted sense of humour that runs through the city, that adds to this vibe, laughter has always been a good remedy to banish blues away :)

Everyone needs a cake with pink feathers, swirls and of course not forgetting the luchadores (Mexican wrestlers). Spotted at Taart van m'n Tante in the Oude Pijp district - Link:

Bikes, barges and buildings

Bumper to bumper ;)

Along our wondering travels we came across the famous flower market, which had all types of  seeds, flower seeds (weed seeds) galore, but truly had some beautiful vibrant flowers and cactus plants.

I have met quite a few pricks in my time, but I have to say these little guys made me smile :)
Be a rose amongst thorns ;)
My parents have cotton on to whats app and when I'm on my travels they love to message and see photos I have taken.  One big hobby that my Mum and I have in common is SHOPPING!  It's like we egg each other on and always have excuses for buying things we love....As alway my mum asked me if I had found anything.....
Parental conversations be like....
On the Sunday we booked to go to the Van Gogh museum which was one of the highlights for me going out there for.  I have always loved and admired his work and how he portrayed his visions.  It actually took me back to my GCSE Art class memories lol....But what a joy to be able to see his work first hand.  I have to say that did not disappoint, however we did queue in the cold winter rain for about an hour and a bit!!  It was worth it once we got in, I admit it was very busy considering it was a winters day.  However even though it was very busy and at some points you do feel like you’re in a school canteen dinner queue to see the next painting, you would be lucky to be able to take photos of the paintings! Security are soooo on it! It reminded me when I went to Rome and was in the Sistine Chapel looking up at 'The creation of Adam'' Pointing my camera upwards but holding it soooo low by my knees trying to take photos, and seeing the guards kick people out for doing so! (Felt a bit thrilling like a naughty school child!) Except full of adults and everyone trying to do the same without being caught! lol.....So I have to say...THIS is the ONLY successful photo I managed to get without being caught, told fact I was ALLOWED to take:

Donald Van Gogh by Wouter Tulp at the Van Gogh Museum
So I had been thinking, rather than searching high, low, left, right, top, middle and bottom for someone, I decided to let go. I can honestly say it’s the best thing I have ever done.  Stopping, realising and taking everything I have right now, being thankful and grateful for this. Just being around my family and friends...I guess in the very words of Van Gogh himself ''I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.''  

Putting the focus on my own well happiness.  Rather than looking for one person to fill a gap in my life, I decided to fill gaps with things I wanted to do and that made me happy.  I have understood, accepted and acknowledged that. Yes...I might not meet someone and I'm ok with that.  Being realistic is something we all have to face and understand.  So I am at a point where I know travel, photography, catching up with friends and family fill those empty spaces.  When you move your focus from one thing I honestly believe that everything has already been written and while you put your energies into something else, the Almighty above has woven things into your life that will appear when they are meant to.

Let's play a game, how many bikes in this Photo I took? Answers on a postcard!

It is about timing and taking everything in your stride, Amsterdam had been a taster of what I had yearned for....What I needed.  Being more spontaneous and getting up and doing things, life is not always about planning things, sometimes it is about letting things take its course and you shall see the beauty of how everything works out....I guess this leads me to my next location in which I had first-hand of this.. Mauritius, my second home, the Island that holds my heart.....

p.s - You can follow me on my instagram for more out and about photos  @Chat_noir_londres  ;)

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Its like I'm on ebay and I'm waiting for the highest (Worthy) bidder to win.....ME!

As always on my morning commute to work, I had been placed in my usual situation of being stuck in a tin sardine carriage.  As I train surfed holding on to nothing but my copy of The Alchemist in my hand, some one had done the ultimate crime one can do in a confined space.....Yes they let an awful whopper of one out....This one was an unbearable stench I looked up to see if I could make eye contact with the culprit dealer, then it dawned on me.....everyone...every single person had a phone poker face.....everyone was looking down on their phones with no reaction! It made me think about invasion of own space and choosing about letting someone in your own area of space. I guess how I let guys somehow communicate with me, however I would say 95% the communication was done via Whats app....And not even a phone call here.....all written text.

To let someone to even come into my airspace and get into my little world of thoughts and character is not something I always do easily.  The more I have had interactions, the more stronger I build a forcefield and I would say this year that has been even more so in this case.  Only because I let someone in, they would get to know me, get me to open up and without a word of warning they would shoot off taking their Rocket to planet Vaginal Venus....(sorry to put it in crude terms but lets face it, it almost seems to be constantly happening).  My theory is this, they get to know me and as I am pretty much normal have my funny little banter ways, I am serious, I know what I want and that's commitment. I am a practising Muslim and have full intentions of doing things the right way as much as possibly I can.  It seems guys regardless of faith most guys I have come across want the physical side of things, quickly which always rings alarm bells. And unfortunately for someone like me, guys are going to be distracted by the time wasting past times and getting their ''fix'' and would rather do so and invest time in those sort of relationships.

Last week I got approached by a guy who was actually married, had the audacity to say "Look Im prob not THE ONE, but still have some "fun"?.....WTF???!!! I told him he is what I call a ''Cactus'' in layman's English - A PRICK. That was an eye opener for sure and also made me feel more disappointed in my faith in MEN-Kind in general.

As a Muslim I can say I know who and exactly what I am, and I have to say I have spoken to a lot of guys who seem to struggle or have double standards of what they say, think and do. However I do believe strongly regardless of your faith as long as you have a good heart and good intentions that's a relationship that you have directly with yourself and the one above so I cannot be one to judge that....I know this.  I just don't like such things as when people who are confused try and talk to me like they are holier than thou and make me almost feel bad for just sticking to my guns....I will never ever go with someone who does not sit right with me or with anything that does not feel right to me in general.  I think the worst thing you can possibly do to someone is be let into their world, pretend to be a friend or care and then not give two shits about being let in and respecting that.  But again going back to the communication...most of this has been 95% on whats app....These guys are not around me, don't see my characteristics, see how I interact with others, how I am known by others, don't even know the sound of my laugh can by the way I type, send random emojis and photos of my surroundings make them think they know me?  If anything what gives them the right to judge me and make an assumption without even spending time around me, forget hovering above my airspace via whats app in their tiny little rocket....(Yes I can judge!).  :p

What happend to going back to basics, actually spending time with someone face to face...These are some things that I had been thinking of:
  • Dont send a girl flowers, turn up unexpectedly and TAKE her to a field of flowers.
  • Dont send a whats app message 'hey'...write a letter, opening up a surprise with excitement always is lovely and the words can be cherished.  Each time re-reading a letter can bring a wave of flutters in the heart (screen shot convos cant bring that kind of effect).
  • Don't tag someone in a instagram picture, take a picture YOU took and make it into a postcard and write some nonsense only you both would know and put it the post.  (Ok you might not have a home address but with a name there is always linkedin and finding a work address right?).
  • Sing to someone....that's always good....My close loved ones love my cat wailing voice notes and no hello, but me belting into a power ballad on the phone.
It really does not take make someone, anyone smile.... :)

I am still really glad I have deleted the online dating profiles.  I don't miss it one bit, with Netflix being my latest boyfriend....ebay has now become my bit on the side...And I am selling, not buying...This last part of 2015 has really taught me to let go.....let go of things that don't hold any value or relevance to selling things off, this is giving me something to look forward to ahead.

Allhamduililah (Praise be to the one above) I have travelled to some amazing locations this year....And looking back I always hesitated as I always thought that I would want to travel with 'The one'...Now I'm kind of thinking with the selfish guys I have met....Why should I put my plans on hold for someone who I don't even know or know if he is worth waiting for?  I'm carrying on with my plans and my life, I'm not going to wait for a prince, shining knight in armour....I'm taking myself, my heels, my nice outfits away myself! If I am to walk this fabulous, beautiful earth alone, then so be it, I accept that whole heartedly, with the love and support I have from friends and family, one guy cannot amount to even a smidge of that! It might be like I am on ebay waiting for the highest (worthy) bidder, but until then I'm using my escape fund to take myself places! ;)

(I shall leave you with this...I have a love music in general....but also for orchestral music I guess its the dramaticness of it all...makes good strut to work music you know....(many don't know this I used to have Cello lessons in school...Dint get far)...However I love Orchestral music...and this below gets me into a power 'Me don'd care *flicks her hair* mode....Orchestral hip hop.....YASSSSS! - Not festive I know...But starting as I mean to go on in 2016.....I'M GONNA BE MAKING SOME NOISE (I might even get on the mic next time I go hip hop karaoke)!!!! - Have a wonderful festive holiday with all your loved ones.....And remember don't let anyone shit on your sparkle.

Signing out for now - A Halaal Chick In The City...xx