Monday 24 November 2014

Wow-ember??!!!


Seriously where has time gone??! I know its November but I can still remember the start of this year!

I have to start by saying, I get direct messages on my twitter account and I have to say I am so humbled and greatful for the support and kind words.  It reassures me and encourages me to write more....more so from the heart :) So this is me saying to you....A BIG thank you :) <3
  • As we are in November here are some movements that are happing this month:
  • No Shave November (Ladies you know them no shaving legs flex is added heat/warm protection in winter!!! ;p )
  • Movember
  • National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo)
  • In Old English November was ‘Windmonath’ (wind month) or ‘Blotmonath’ (blood or sacrifice month).
  • The name ‘November’ comes from the Latin for nine (novem), as it was the ninth month of the Roman calendar.
  • The Dutch called it ‘slachtmaand’ (slaughter month); in Welsh it is ‘Tachwedd’, also meaning ‘slaughter’ referring to the killing of animals.
  • Also the month of every year I reflect on the past year gone, as I realise the end of the current year is on the horizon.... And start to have that Del Boy quote moment "This time next year I"ll be........???!!! (A year closer to spinsterhood! This has now been my tradition for many a year now).
Anyhooo.....Looking back at the year gone by, one thing is for sure I have met so many amazing people, family and friends who I have not seen in years.  :) Also not to mention the new friends I have picked up along the way :) And how could I forget the stars of my blogs....All the encounters with Mr not quite right(s)! I have to say there are a few on this list I have not blogged about!!!
  • Mr (West London) 
  • Mr (East London) 
  • Cindafella
  • The Fireman
  • The Bear (I have never mentioned The Bear until now...I shall come back to this one). 
  • Mr Mayfair -An international business guy who was a globe trotter who would contact me at unearthly hours due to his random travel locations and had crazy small minded views and had to always be right! And just drove me up the wall with his views and arguments as I don't agree with him!
  • Mr Twit-er (A guy messaged me on twitter, and we got charting and low and behold...turned out to be married).
  • Mr Super Nice (A super duper nice guy, not blogged about this one as I got introduced akwardly to him in the motherland by my cousin, and well bless him....he was sweet....and a tad stuck in the 1980's in the sense of everything Bollywood....hard to explain but I get it lol)
  • Mr Brazil (No he was not brazilian just we went opposite sides of the earth at the same time and his location earned him his nickname and it was the only way my friends would remember him by....lol......A really nice guy I met a few times...before we each went on our travels.....when I went to the motherland he went to Brazil and it seemed being further away half way across the planet we communicated more than ever and kept in touch a lot, however back in blighty we met up again and something in the what's app communication connection had gone not only on what's app....but in person too......And suddenly....."Pouff" he Dissapeared!
  • Congratulations
  • Lord North West Colindale of London
The Bear:

The reason for this name....out of all the guys I have met...he's a big giant muscly hunky bear with beard and everything...*hmmmmmmm*.....mind you including  he had the moodyness of a big bear too! He was from one of these sites, but last two years or so messaged me on and off and went aloof....until this year....He messaged me "Let's just meet up"....To which I was like OK! So we met up for some chai, he was ever so charming, well spoken and for a first he mentioned his mum straight off......He said she knew one of my family members which took me more by surprise....1.He mentioned me to his mum? 2.He knew of my family!? Green ticks right?? Anyhooo for a first meeting it was really chilled casual and nice :)
So we got chatting and met up quite a bit and from what it seemed to me he was interested....There where times I had been out with my girlfriends and he messaged asking what was I up to and when I said I was out and about in London....low and behold he would hurry from where ever he was and join us....which ment my friends met him and also thought he was really nice got on with him and liked him.  One thing I liked, The bear was a complete gent around me, and really respectful....Once we met up and he was so fidgety to the point he was sitting on his hands and I swear he had this really weird look like a deer caught in headlights kinda look.....I think he picked up on my confused/amused/what is wrong with you today look? But each time we hung out the Convo flowed and he was a laugh to be around....but that weird caught in the headlights moment...What was that all about?...I half kinda knew....but he knew I noticed his odd behaviour.....He messaged me...he said when he is with me, he would prob make a move but then look at me and say I looked sooooo innocent and felt so bad for even trying to......lol.....I just found it amusing how lil 5ft"3 me can make a big 5"11 bear (who's a bouncer at times at one of London's  biggest busiest clubs also) have a scared look on his face....lol......To which I then said...."OK what's going on here"...The bear then said "If someone was to ask me would I marry you tomorrow, I would say 'No'....But then again who's to say that could change? I was like "huh?".....See the thing with the bear, he was giving mixed messages, away from me would be so flirty and dead cheeky....and in person a complete gent.....??!!
Either way we hung out a lot and he never laid a finger on me, which I liked....He knew I'm not that type of girl to mess around with. Even while his cheeky messages carried on...I let it slide as in person he was a total gent....I even made him my famous biscuits that I always get hounded for....He said he "liked" them squinting as he tried one...(I knew he loved them but he din't want to admit it.....everyone loves my biscuits ;p).......However his Mum and brothers "loved" them....(course I was thinking I must be in there if his mum and brothers liked my baking skills without even meeting them - Yep TYPICAL female way of thinking I know lol!).  However on the other side of things, he would get on a downer...and I am quite a positive person, and more than anything I will always be a friend first to anyone I am getting to know. He moaned about work and home life, and I was encouraging, understanding and supportive as much as I possibly could..I'm quite patient...But over the weeks it started to get me down....and more so his negativity drained me.......I never got a thanks or the smallest appreciation for my help and advice, time....friendship even.....And it seemed so one sided....more about him....He became distant and cold......
Eventually I left the moody bear to it in his cave....I got a lot of hot and cold mix signals from The Bear to the point I just left alone and he did too...To which after he said Not being ready etc", he was still very much active on the dating sites....hmmmm.....*raises an eyebrow*.....oh well.....If anything it just assured me that I'm sure of myself and really comfortable of how I am and what I am.....As the year is coming to an end.....I am just greatful for each new day.  His loss and he won't be getting non of ma biscuits anymore either ;p

One of my favourite books is The Alchemist....and with each new day we are all given the chance....Tomorrow someone can walk out of your life forever.....However tomorrow someone could walk into your life and end up staying forever......




P.s Apologies for spelling and grammer.....its silly o clock and I shall Bid you good night ;)




Sunday 9 November 2014

Evolution of dating......

Hello!!

I know it has been a while, as the winter nights are drawing in, I have been compelled to the cosy Onsie and weekends by the lampshade snuggling up to the new love of my life.....and still keeps me up till late and keeps my mind ticking........yes his name is Netflix!!! ;p

Besides being busy with family, work and just everyday life and watching series 1&2 of Twin Peaks, I had met two more characters to add to my nickname list.....The first being another from an Online dating site, after nearly giving up and then having a re-think in my search criteria I thought it was a bit more strict and saved the search filter....There I came across the profile of ''Congratulations'' and there is no reason for this name, as this is a matter of fact his name! (This of asian/arabic word for ''Congratulations'' and bob's your uncle that is his name!). So from the start I called him this and knew and dint seem to have a problem with me calling him this....lol.
So within a week of getting to know with a few messages and phone calls, we arranged to meet....now Congratulations is from East London, and we arranged to meet in East London (not that I had an issue with this, as I am a child of adventure and shall be more than happy to travel the earth in search of my other half....ever if he reside in...East London (I personally love East London by the way, always have had some connection with it!) :)

So I went to the ends and we met up at a Shisha/Restaurant place....and he was good looking, casual and yes had that typical East London lingo thing going on....now he was really chatty which is not a bad trait to have at all, but the kind of chatty that was like a motor mouth!!! And the conversation would dart from one story he would tell me to another, like I automaticly knew what he was talking about (a lot of drama) and as funny as it was, he would talk, he might as well have been speaking another language! At a few points I just let him ramble on as I sat there clueless what he was on about as he expected me to know and when I did stress I had no idea what he was on about he would stop and express with both hands waving expressively ''I THOLD YUH!'' And at this point I would be shouting 'NO YOU DIN'T!!??'...At this point I had a flash vision of being old with this fella and probably STILL be having the same sort of lost in translation communication issues!

One thing that came up was the fact he never left the vicinity of East London, and seemed to have an issue that I was always around London and different areas and outside of London.  He said something about ''Why venture out when everything is here (meaning steak house and Nando's)....Basically he just did not see the point of seeking different culinary cultures and even said "Why go out when you can make it at home?!!" Don't get me wrong, but I am a homebody, but to the extreme of not venturing beyond the A406 is a bit.....weird......well to me it is!

Anyhow while all this mis-communication was going on, in a few of the pauses I did catch him eyeing me up, which some guys I have notice can do on the sly, and then there are those who just do it blatantly.....The reason for the :/ face is because motor mouth congratulations would stop talking and well spoke with his eyes I guess which I found a bit :/ Either way after a bit of Shisha I was on my way....I dint really have any attraction -wow-chemistry, Congratulations just seemed like a lot of hard work....after meeting up there where some messages exchanged and calls things where going.....flat...well for me anyway.  Our conversations started to go something like this..'Hi...Hows you? Hey...What you up to...Night....Hey...etc......There was no getting to know me and when I would ask anything it would be basic one worded answers....Then the name calling started....Hey Curvy.....(now I'm no skinny binny or a big girl at all but I think it was the tone?.....anyhow I ignored it, until it changed to 'Hey fatty'..... -_-

Seriously? And the thing is I said something straight away but it dint stop.....And this fool still kept saying 'Hey fatty....' And well yeah I ignored him and this seemed to get to him.  I eventually said to him to get back on the dating sites and find a Skinny Binny! To which he would just reply ''LOL''......kmt.....The last time he said it, I said I was done and block his ass on whats app, to which HE said I should get off my high horse! I made a point that he does not know me a single a bit to EVEN THINK I would be someone who would even know how to mount a flipping high horse let alone already be on one!!!! He got blocked.....

So that was Commiserations done with.....I mean Congratulations......

Then a few weeks later after going back on the dating sites I got chatting to another London fellow, this time one from WEST London....However within the first 5 days whats app messages had been sent and with no phone calls exchanged I already knew by his grammer and tone of speaking he was a posh one..to which I might add I have named Mr Posh.....

Within the few days we had arranged to meet up, but for some normal reason I could not make it, and I informed him and apologised and said we should reschedule.....To which I got a message which seemed like a bit of a lecture that he was extremely busy and that he did not give just anybody his time!!!

Anyhoo....we rescheduled for two days later.....Again me being me....I saw no photo....yes yes I know....I never learn when it comes to no photos....But I guess that really is blind dating!! ;p

So the day came to meeting up and he called and low and behold he spoke like a public school boy....man/guy.....and when he called I spotted him, smartly dressed with a crisp shirt and smart trousers and ray bands and....his man bag.
I just have this thing about man bags....You can have some manly man bags and 
then "fe-male type man bags"....I don't know it just makes me cringe....So we went to this Indian restaurant...And he seemed pleasant, jolly enough....A bit over animimated but I found it amusing.  As we ordered he spoke to the waiter in his posh public school boy accent and asked "What part of South Asia are you from?"....To which the waiter hesitated as he was expecting a food order not an order of a question of where he was from.....He answered a bit bemused and Mr Posh then declared that he's from "The Punn-Jabb" Said in that very way....Strike cringe moment number 1......As we waited for the food, he was really chatty...I asked him where about I'm London was he from and he said "Nnnorth Westttt London" When he said that I said "Oh like West Hampstead"....he then declared like he was the Earl and lord of this place......"Colindale".....I was like "oh OK?" And again he repeated "Yes Nnnnorth Westttt London, I am a Londoner after all" And would then do this posh *Gaffaw of a laugh*.....I said I used to live in Enfield to which Sir-Lord-Earl-Of-Nnnnorth-Westtt-London-Colindale "Informed" me that Enfield is NOT part of London.....Me being me screeched with a "are you kidding me" laughter saying "Yes it is!!!??" To which his Lordship said again in his posh toff accent "Well I AM from Nnnnorth Westttt London after all"....It was like he was always going to be right and I was going to be wrong....

He informed me that he is a humanist and a Muslim.....that the two are seperate things.....I kinda get his point but I personally think being a Muslim you are a humanist and should always do good no matter what....He said "By the Grace of God" He was doing well for himself "Lord willingly" He will continue to do so....Me by habit I say "Allhamdulilah" or "Inshallah" which there is nothing wrong with what he said, but I did notice this about him and mentioned it, to which I got an abrupt reply "Well, I'm not Arab am I??!"...Well I got told right there...

As the evening went on he said my name is also a men's name to which I had never heard of and I said "Your calling me a man then?" To which he said yes....a tranny!!!" as you can read....a charmer this one!!....He then asked me what else do I like doing I said I have an interest in photography and as I am always at weddings. I love the ambiance and find the natural photos when people do not realise I am taking an actual photo com you the nicest.....To which he said...."Oh right..."So your a pervert.....a photographer pervert" And once again he gawffawed loudly......By this point I knew this dude was pretty lived in his little Nnnnorth Westtt London world......

Okay when I have met up with guys yes I always get my purse out and then the guy will be like "I've got this".....I mean I'm always happy to pay being the modernist...... BUT on a first meeting and a review meeting with the girls the question "Did he pay" always arises.....I am a bit old fashioned, but I don't think all guys realise that this small gesture can be a deal breaker as it is all noted in the " First impressions count".  As I reached for my purse and before I could say or suggest ANYTHING he said "We shall go halves".....I was like OK sure.....!!??

So that was that, talk about a right character....this one had pretty much corrected me (well he thought he had) and insulted me in slap and nicely pat manner....He said he would be in touch, and I was like..."ohok" Not fussed at all I I did or did not hear from him again!!! That evening I got a message and he said...."Thank you for a lovely evening I had a Fantastic time"......My facial reaction was pretty much like a confused.."hain???" Face :/

I said the usual bog standard "yeah was nice meeting you also"....A few days later I got a text from Posh Toff which went along the lines of this:

"Do hope you are well? I have been thinking about meeting you....and.....(Do I sound like a high court judge here who is about to make his decision?? Just wanted to say it gives me great pleasure to announce that I'm very much interested in getting to know you better. Gosh that deliberation went on for a bit!!!

My first reaction was naturally laugh and shake my head, let this fool constantly auto-correct AND insult me further??!! Nah -uh not me......BAH!!!!!

So once again feeling a little deflated from Mr Never leaves east ends to Mr Nnnorth West London.....I'm not sure where my compass will take me next on this search.....It can be draining at times.....And there are times when I think to myself am I doing my best to be as simple as possible....

Looking back at how dating used to be so simple.....walking up to someone and SPEAKING to them and getting to know them in time....now its apps galore...Tinder, Happen, Dating sites ,make it multi harder now....one eye is on you while the other eye is still wandering.....

Its a jungle out there.....