This year has been very good to me, I have seen many more close loved ones get married, announce babies and generally creating amazing memories along my travels....Blessed Allhamdulilah.
However that one thing still...lingers....still single! Lol, but its all good, I have learnt so much about myself. Been more assertive about my instinct and reading vibes off people, I have learnt I really can see through people, especially more so when they are trying to conceal things from me.
So this new word has cropped up, and I think it is fair to say this pretty much applies to every guy I have so far come across....F**kboy goes something like this:
- I like you
- But I'm talking to 3 others plus I have a girlfriend/wife/baby mama (cross as apply or not if you have all)
- But I like you
- Trust me
- When you coming to see me?
-_-
And the worse thing is, they seem to make an appearance when my whats app, instagram, facebook profile picture changes......
Seriously? Its like a heard of hyenas running in a pack from their smelly holes all who's numbers I had deleted and seemed to have kept my number and been profile watching!?)....this time however I don't care who or what you are, they all had chances...I let them say a few words of rubbish and with no warning block and delete their asses. Its all about deleting them and looking ahead and just making yourself happy.
This is something that I have really been focusing on and continuing to do so.
My favourite book is Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, if you have not read this book, please do, its amazing!
In this I have learnt that you have encounters with people who all play a purpose in your life and from this you learn more about yourself. Looking back I cant have regrets with the encounters I have with the guys I have met. They all played a role, filled a time and space almost for me to get ahead. And now I realise I am at a point where I think I can see much more clearly and what exactly I am looking for. As amusing it is to see these idiots from the past crawl out of their holes, it makes me realise what I am looking for and more so what I deserve. These guys have no respect and looking for a quick fix, or more so came to me, went looking else where and thought they could come back to me......Nah uh! That door is closed now, no more second, third or forth chances!
I am being more hopeful and optimistic...however it has not been an easy ride....I had a ''Suitor'' (Which was far from a suitor) come to me, and what made it more difficult my parents knew about this one. I always seem to react like a cat thrown into water in these situations and do not take to them well.
A very long story short I had hardly any information on him but somehow...I managed to trace him on facebook without knowing his name....I know....don't ask....My instincts are strong and I just know things! I scare myself at times! However this turned out to be another big miss match (like the policeman who I had met earlier this year!). But it is always 10 times harder when my parents seem to know about it, they go into this weird formal mode with me, like I am to be accepting to it. A lot was said between my parents and them which we both never had brought up. And as hard as it was to say and hear, it has made things better. It is hard seeing them getting older, wishing that I could bring them joy with grandchildren, making them proud, seeing that I have completed half of my faith....my thoughts and feelings I put through this, I could finally tell them....but it was hard and even now it is said and done, it is like a relief....I can finally go ahead on my mission to find the idiot and that I want this more than anything...I really do and I have never said it aloud, but it is what I want, and any fool that gets in my way shall not be spared! I mean business!
Saying this.....after a record 9 years on Singlemuslims and other sites........I DELETED MY PROFILE!!
Gosh that felt amazing! I saw the same old faces still active and on there (Including the bear) and it felt like I had put them all in the rubbish bin in all. I think the worse thing about that site had been the constant ''You still on here'' messages. So NOMORE! (By all means I think people should use it, however....come one....9 years having that same profile name and written bio...its was time to realise online dating is not for me). At least I can say 'I gave it a go once...twice....ten millions times''.......LOL.
Each day look for the adventure and value in every small thing, I have met and made friends in amazing ways.....One randomly in the Tube in France, one in Rome in the Vatican square, however we have met and they live internationally through social media we keep in contact, and I have realised that they are like minded.....like a like attracts and that is what I focus on. These days people are always looking for better, when really they should dig a little deeper and trust their instincts in what they have already found and have. The people already in our lives are our personal treasures, once you find them don't let them go, the ones that are to come, keep them safe and value them also.
This year has been very good to me and I never thought I would have been to the places I have been and more so, met and got back in touch with so many from the past who I value as much as they value me.
Life is too short, if you think of a lost gem in your treasure chest of friendship, dig them out and say hello :) xx
Until next time....(I promise I shall not leave it as long!).
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